Horsies!

This is Bruiser. That's right. I finally got my horsie and his name was BRUISER. And he didn't have socks. Not quite what I was expecting. I sort of wanted a glossy black horse with a shiny mane and white socks. His name would be Rodney (I love you Rodney!) and he would be my best friend.

Still, it was wonderful. I finally got to pretend that I was coming home from an epic battle in which I led my army to victory. After a real battle, I would naturally get to my choice of enemy horses (no doubt mine was killed in a dramatic and heroic manner), but I may have to choose from a bad lot. And it's not like Bruiser didn't have personality. At one stage he decided to make a break for it and jumped into some bushes. Unfortunately, that was the extent of his plan. This is why the enemy lost. Not even the horses were that bright. He had quite a bit of trouble getting out again, but together we managed with only a few scrapes and scratches.

Also, it was clear that my new steed was underfed. He kept going for the lush grass, despite my best attempts to keep him to the path. Then, he'd realise that we were lagging behind and off we'd go, trotting until we literally bumped into the horse in front. It must have been exhaustion. No doubt he'd used up all his energy charging people and ducking swords.
All very exciting for a first-timer. Next time, private tour and a horse with socks.

Trying to complete the list again

I sort of forgot about my list. I got too involved in REAL LIFE. And as we all know, real life has no place here. Poor form on my part, but it's fixed because I'm getting through the list once again.

I'm going to ride a horsie this weekend. I have no idea why, but recently I've started using 'horsie'. I had to answer a question about a horse at my job the other day, and it took all my power to just say 'horse'. In my head I shrieked 'iiieeee!'

So, this is a big deal because horsies like to eat human flesh. This is a fact. Once you give them the taste for it, they can't help themselves. Much like zombies. Just check out their chompers. MASSIVE TEETH. I have huge front teeth, so if I get bitten then I'm damn well going to bite back. Then I'll stand back, and the horsie and I will have to grudgingly accept that we belong together.

Seriously, I'm really quite excited. It will be just like my time on an elephant. Only this time I'll be going slowly and in single file with a bunch of others. So instead of pretending that I'm heading for battle, I'll have to make do with pretending that I'm returning from months of hand-to-hand combat, exhausted and on a new mount that I have captured from my enemies.

So. This weekend I'm going to be returning from my campaign on a shiny steed, with loot and prisoners.