Hypnotherapy - it cures everything

I'm a convert.  I'll admit it, I was still a bit skeptical about how I'd go today, but thanks to all the work with Mr P, the presentation was fine.  In fact, it was better than fine.  It's amazing to go from terrified and ready to throw up (and a big frown to the colleague who kept giving me gorgeous sympathetic smiles at my last fear-filled speech) to something close to relaxed.

Ok, so I wasn't relaxed. But on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being ready to throw up, I think I was a 3.  Which was exactly what Mr P promised me.

So, next is dealing with my motivation to exercise and eat better. I want more energy. I'm sick of feeling tired all the time.  I've got a full-time job, part-time uni and a house that I'm busy 'fixing' (because everyone needs a book covered library with a massive Chesterfield for snoozing in).  Life is busy, and my eating and exercise are always the first things to go.

I've got a bit of extra cash from all my public holiday work, so perhaps I'll book a few more sessions with Mr P.

Monash and hypnosis

I had my first seminar this week. It was exciting, but a bit upsetting because I had to go up to the 6th floor of the Menzies building. Everything has changed. I was a little bit shocked because the area where I used to sit and eat my lunch is now a little classroom with glass doors. You can see in, but without a pass you sure as hell can't get in. The seminar was in this same glass box, and as I walked in I couldn't help but feel a little bit sad. I have a very strong memory of Mr N talking to me there. I remember being worried that I was falling in love with him. Ha ha ha. So funny I could cry.

It's interesting how a building makeover can completely rob an area of the memories associated with it. In a way it's fantastic for me. I can have a completely new experience without expecting him to walk around the corner.



Anyway, aside from my Monash adventure, I had a very exciting week because I went to see a hypnotist in a last ditch effort to get over my social anxiety and fear of public speaking. Yes, I realise it sounds a bit mad. The guy I saw was absolutely lovely. Naturally I was scared and anxious, but he completely charmed me (which is good since it's his job).

Apparently I'm highly susceptible to suggestion. I found that interesting. It was very easy for me to go along with the visualisation because I day-dream ALL the time. My eyelids were fluttering which is meant to be a good sign. I didn't notice that. All I noticed was that my arms and fingers were a bit twitchy. Perhaps they're always twitchy but I'm never still enough to focus on them.

The big question is, did it work? I certainly felt less anxious afterwards, to the point where I walked home in the dark without the usual 'oh my god I'm going to be mugged' feeling. Tonight I'm going to a party where I barely know anyone - but I'm not upset or worried about it (bored yes, distressed no). The real test will be speaking up at work. I'm great if it's 1-on-1 but if it's more than 5 or 6 people I get uncomfortable.