Interesting development

For the first time in my entire life, I regret turning down a social function. I said no because I thought I'd feel stressed and nervous even though I would have been well looked after. Now I just feel sad that I didn't even try. I'm in my safe place, but it's not as perfect as it used to be. I think I might try to make more of an effort. I've let myself get lazy lately.

Scrivener and Endnote have fucked me over

Wow. I have had the most unproductive and horribly frustrating day.

I use Scrivener to work on my thesis.  What an epic mistake.  It refuses to talk to Endnote (which in itself is shitty and frustrating) and no matter how many times I follow the thousands of online instructions on making citations work, they just refuse. I have wasted weeks on this and I wish I could get all that time back.

Sure, Scrivener is awesome if you are in the sciences or doing creative writing. But for arts it's shockingly bad.  For history, it's back-breakingly painful.

I don't know what to do. I can go back to using word, or find another writing/citation tool.

I want to beat the crap out of everyone in my way, and most of all I want to beat the crap out of Christmas for fucking up my time.

FUCK EVERYTHING FUCK FUCK FUCK.

I cannot do a thesis part time and work full-time. I am seriously considering using all my leave early next year and just hiding away at my house (I'll have to send Mr G away somewhere) for weeks until I sort this bastard of a thing out.  In fact, that's exactly what I'll do. I can't live like this - I'm going to give myself a nervous breakdown.